Here we go.
This is for those families that have kids, that have the guts to say they:
- don't like school...or
- soccer... or
- Aunt Alice…or
- getting up early...or
- (insert your own).
This is ALSO for those of us that have:
- a quieter way (in some form or another)
- an illness
- a reading impairment
- math trouble
- can't find our soccer cleats
So we can stop trying to fit in. Because trying to fit in never makes us feel good about ourselves. In fact, it’s exhausting.
I have been one of those kids.
I have some of those kids.
I work with many of those kids. I also work with their families in many cases.
If you know me at all, you may know I can be a bit of a rebel. Many times I zig, when it seems the rest of the world is happy to zag.
Like when it comes to listening to our kids.
It can test our patience. Challenge our beliefs. Cut off our (false reality) of control.
And blow our minds.
I love it when kids teach adults about life!
Kids—our kids—are often trying to show us who they are and what they need. And when we are open to seeing what works and doesn't work for them, MAGIC can start to happen. Truly. Relationships have the nourishment to blossom between grown-ups and kids when we stop projecting our needs onto our kids and start listening.
Word of caution: if you are new to this, it may feel rough in the beginning. This is true of most new things we experiment with or embark upon.
Many grown-ups are scared to listen to their kids because it throws them off.
Parenting is a huge responsibility. We take it very seriously because we love our kids so much.
So many unexpected things come at us every day. And we do the best we can...often powering through.
It’s quite normal to think that stopping and listening to our kids (rather than just telling them how things are to be) will derail everything we’re trying to control and manage.
Often, our belief is that kids don’t have the life experience or maturity to understand the complications and implications of certain decisions. That’s our job.
Listening to your kids doesn’t mean you’ll lose control or that you’ll start to make whimsical choices.
It conveys that you truly see them. You truly hear them.
It also teaches us that our kids are individuals. They aren’t extensions of us, they are unique and separate beings with their own needs. When we listen to our kids, we validate their individuality. And this strengthens their confidence to navigate and guide their lives with courage and resilience.
Kids tune us out when we don’t listen. Or...they try to get our attention with rebellious behaviours.
I know it's hard to learn to listen. It’s difficult to trust it. I know because I have—F O U R—kids who have bombarded me with lessons in listening for the past 24 years
It wasn't always pretty. We’re still learning so much from each other.
FYI - I have some pretty awesome coaching tools for parents that include different ways of listening and wonderful exercises in which to deliver them. If you're curious about personal coaching sessions to help you calm and strengthen your relationship with your kids, I'd be happy to chat with you. CLICK HERE →